I never knew… I never knew that everything was falling through

That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue

To turn and run when all I needed was the truth

But that's how it's got to be

It's coming down to nothing more than apathy

I'd rather run the other way than stay and see

The smoke and who's still standing when it clears…

Ever get a glimpse of the big picture and understand your purpose here, just to lose sight of it and feel lost as to the reason behind existence?   At one point in life I actually had most things figured out, I had a hold of what I want for the future, don't get me wrong I still do but some of the sharpness of the picture has blurred.

Its funny how you can plan for something as much as you want and things will NEVER go smoothly, part of our survival is the ability to adapt and move along.

Attitude, exercise, sleep, diet all contribute to achieving balance.  I honestly believe that you need a perfect blend of those ingredients to be able to be able to function at 100% of your mental capacity.   Back at school I had most of those things down, albeit sleeping at 5-7am and waking up at 3pm isn't what I consider good sleep habit everything else seemed to be in place.

Now between the countless hours of work and not having enough time during the day I feel like I can't waste time on sleep, since we can sleep all we want when we're dead right?   WRONG.  Not getting quality of sleep has greatly decreased my ability to enjoy my free time but I'm having a hard time accepting that because if I go to bed by 10pm I admit defeat and that I'm getting old, but if I don't, I get defeated by the lack of sleep and feeling old.   See that vicious cycle?  I have to find the balance here, someone throw me a frekkin bone…

I miss the way I felt back in school, having that harmony and balance.  But that was a different life, and I'm starting to feel like it was a different me.

Live and Learn